Carolyn Hax, of the WASHINGTON POST, is without question my favorite advice columnist. Not only is her syndicated TELL ME ABOUT IT the most insightful and bullshit-free advice column out there, but her weekly chats are full of gems, made all the more impressive by the fact that the chat is done in real time.
This little exchange is from her chat today at washingtonpost.com:
New York, N.Y.: Hey Carolyn,
Love your chats -- I'm hoping you can help me on this. How do you get over the need to have everyone (or if not everyone, most people) "like" you. I'm usually afraid to make waves or risk alienating people, even for good reason, because I'm always worried that this person will become resentful and besmirch my fair name among my social circle.
I think there's some good in restraint, but I feel like the fear of reprisal is too strong for me to deal with in general and then I end up feeling trod upon.
Advice, please? Thank you in advance!
Carolyn Hax: Pencils out, pop quiz:
Do you like everyone? Yes/No
Does your dislike of someone impinge significantly on his or her ability to lead a fulfilling life? Yes/No
Are there some people you dislike so much that their favorable opinion of you would be an insult? Yes/No
Do you think it's a realistic goal to be universally liked? Yes/No
Do you think it's a desirable one? Yes/No
Can you conjure one person who is universally inoffensive? Yes/No
If yes, has that person ever made you laugh so hard you spit your drink? Yes/No
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The point of this quiz being, everything you feel comfortable believing about other people's (dis)likability applies directly to your own. It's okay, certainly survivable, and in many cases desirable, to be distasteful to some people.
Enjoy.
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