Jazz saxophonist Frank Morgan, in some ways, chose addiction. When he was young (age 7!), Morgan heard Charlie Parker play, and in his words, "I heard my voice. And a new life began... I heard the voice that I would like to be... I mean, his effect on me was really dramatic. I wanted to do everything that produced this voice, you know? No matter what 'no's I knew not to do, no matter what Bird said (not to do), no matter what the laws of this fine nation said. I wanted to be a drug addict. Simply because that voice experienced this."
Morgan became not only a great alto saxophonist like his hero; he also became a heroin addict, and lost many of his best years of playing to prison terms --over 25 years in prison from the 50s to the 90s.
In Ben Sidran's excellent collection Talking Jazz: An Oral History, Sidran asks Morgan if there was "a part of you that believes that having experienced addiction has made you a better player?" Morgan's answer:
"Yes and no. I mean, I couldn't deny that my use of drugs has happened, and I believe that I am more sensitive because it did happen. I don't want that to be interpreted in any way to mean that I recommend that it happen, or that I give it credit for doing anything for me. I think that one who has experienced cancer know how deadly cancer is and how fortunate they were to have survived it. So that is the way I mean it. I think I am much more sensitive to human degradation and to the loss of freedom just as I am more sensitive to freedom and the desire to be free, because my use of drugs took me to some places and took me to some depths in living that I know I don't want to go back to. So I am more sensitive to being free, because I know what it is to not be free."
(Sidran, Ben. (1995). Talking Jazz: an oral history. New York: Da Capo.)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
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