Sunday, February 14, 2010

"I am more sensitive to being free..."

Jazz saxophonist Frank Morgan, in some ways, chose addiction. When he was young (age 7!), Morgan heard Charlie Parker play, and in his words, "I heard my voice. And a new life began... I heard the voice that I would like to be... I mean, his effect on me was really dramatic. I wanted to do everything that produced this voice, you know? No matter what 'no's I knew not to do, no matter what Bird said (not to do), no matter what the laws of this fine nation said. I wanted to be a drug addict. Simply because that voice experienced this."

Morgan became not only a great alto saxophonist like his hero; he also became a heroin addict, and lost many of his best years of playing to prison terms --over 25 years in prison from the 50s to the 90s.

In Ben Sidran's excellent collection Talking Jazz: An Oral History, Sidran asks Morgan if there was "a part of you that believes that having experienced addiction has made you a better player?" Morgan's answer:

"Yes and no. I mean, I couldn't deny that my use of drugs has happened, and I believe that I am more sensitive because it did happen. I don't want that to be interpreted in any way to mean that I recommend that it happen, or that I give it credit for doing anything for me. I think that one who has experienced cancer know how deadly cancer is and how fortunate they were to have survived it. So that is the way I mean it. I think I am much more sensitive to human degradation and to the loss of freedom just as I am more sensitive to freedom and the desire to be free, because my use of drugs took me to some places and took me to some depths in living that I know I don't want to go back to. So I am more sensitive to being free, because I know what it is to not be free."

(Sidran, Ben. (1995). Talking Jazz: an oral history. New York: Da Capo.)

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