Every one of Carolyn Hax's live Friday chats online at Washington Post.com has at least one sentence or paragraph that hits home. This one, from Carolyn's reply regarding a man's distress at his brother's pending marriage, was the one from the last chat. As with so many of her gems, it almost doesn't matter what the question was:
There's not much you can do to stop someone from making a mistake he's determined to make. You can, though, shift your take on why he's sharing your unhappiness. You see it as a chance to fix things. Maybe he doesn't want it fixed, maybe he just wants to talk. Let him talk (and of course drive you nuts). Ask questions instead of offering ideas--example, "What do you think you should do?"; "What would be your perfect outcome?" or even, "Is there something you want me to do or say?" and "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Leading questions.
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