Comedy Cleanup Time

All right... so I'm now reduced to posting quotes, jokes and emails from friends. There's a lot going on in my life at the moment and I'm kind of sort of sorting it all out... in the meantime, I might as well try and make everyone laugh.


* First, there's this, from my friend David (the cartoonist behind DOCTOR FUN):

Is it my imagination, or is Jim Thorpe playing football with Abe Lincoln in this picture? Who is to say it couldn't have happened?
http://www.cmgworldwide.com/sports/thorpe/photo10.htm

To which I responded: If only Lincoln had worn one of those helmets to OUR AMERICAN COUSIN.


* And second, a joke I heard on a Jackie The Jokeman CD I picked up for six bucks last weekend at the Q-mart. Probably everyone who clicks on this blog has already gotten my e-mail with this joke, but I post it here for prospective future employers who googled me searching for a reason to not hire me.

(Note to said prospective employers: If that's indeed the case, don't bother calling me to arrange an interview. You're not the kind of person I'd want to work for anyway.)

The joke:

Cletus and Homer are ready to spread manure on their field, except... the manure delivery truck crashes. (The joke could almost end there). "What're we gon' DO, Homer?" Cletus says.

Homer thinks for a while, then his face lights up. "Cletus, I'll TELL ya what we can do. You know that ol' outhouse Granny's been complainin' about since forever? Well, we'll set a few sticks'a dynamite under it... blow that sucker up... it'll spread everything down in the hole all across the field... we'll solve two problems at once."

So they get a few sticks of dynamite and put them under the outhouse, and just as they light the fuse and run for cover, Granny comes out of the kitchen and down to the outhouse. She opens the door and goes in and just as she sits down...

KABOOOOOOOOOM! The outhouse goes sky-high, everything goes flying over the fields, and Granny soars 50 feet through the air and lands in the middle of the strawberry patch. Cletus and Homer run over to her. "Granny! You OK?"

And Granny says "I'm fine, fine," and then she shakes her head and looks at them. "I'll tell ya what, though, boys... it's a good thing I didn't let THAT one just slip out in the kitchen!"